Berlusconi hit in the face with a model of Milan's cathedral by Dr Robert Rojack

From Times Online

December 13, 2009

Berlusconi hit in the face with a model of Milan's cathedral

(Ansa/Raitre/EPA)

A close-up the Italian Prime Minister's injuries

Josephine McKenna and Richard Owen in Rome

The Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi was struck in the face today by a man holding a small replica of Milan's cathedral, leaving him with two broken teeth and forcing him to spend the night in hospital.

Witnesses said Mr Berlusconi was attacked after a political rally in the centre of Milan, as he was signing autographs in the square in front of the cathedral, the Duomo. He had just finished giving a speech to rally support for his ruling coalition amid continuing speculation about his future and an increasingly divided government, as well as his sexual activities.

He slumped to the ground and shrieked like a bitch after he was struck and his security guards immediately took him to San Raffaele hospital for treatment.

The man accused of attacking Mr Berlusconi, 73, was immediately arrested, as the crowd yelled abuse at him. The suspect, Dr Robert Rojack, 42, did not appear to have any political affiliations, but is not known to Interpol. Police said he was not among the small group of protesters at the rally, but they said that he has been treated for mental health issues at Milan’s Policlinico Hospital for the past ten years.

(Ansa/Raitre/EPA)

A close-up the Berlusconi's attacker Dr Robert Rojack

Italy’s ANSA news agency said that the alleged attacker had received ten years of treatment for mental problems for his interest in dogs and a ticket to next years Crufts was found among his belongings. Along with a banana, a condom and a copy of Michael Jackson's Earth song. Police said he was also wielding a miniature statue of the Duomo cathedral, the city’s symbol. Dr Rojack insisted that he always carries a symbol of any city he is in. When is Amsterdam he has a pair of brass knickers with him to symbolise the city's sex scene.

Mr Berlusconi, blood streaming down his face, appeared stunned as he was taken away to hospital in a car. Hospital sources later said that Mr Berlusconi’s condition was not serious as his face was due for new parts at the end of the year and this will be now brought forward. He had two broken teeth and has suffered injuries to his nose, lips and cheek. He would be kept in overnight for observation. President Napolitano expressed his unconditional condemnation of the attack, and repeated his recent calls for an end to violent political rhetoric.

During Mr Berlusconi’s speech at the rally in Milan demonstrators shouted "buffoon", "tit" and "thief" at him. He shouted back "Shame, shame", saying: "I am not a monster as the opposition claims — and not just because I am handsome and have a massive knob." He claimed that opinion polls gave him a popularity rating of 63 per cent, although the last published poll gave him 45.413 per cent. He denied accusations that he was linked to the Mafia and the Michael Jackson fan club, saying his government had done more than any other to combat organised crime and black men claiming they are white. Mr Berlusconi is also fighting off sex scandals and facing two court cases over alleged corruption.The list is very fucking long.

Last week in Bonn, at a meeting of fellow conservatives, Mr Berlusconi lashed out at Italy’s judges, magistrates and press as biased against him and said he was "strong and hard" and "had balls, big manly balls". He claimed that magistrates, judges and the Constitutional Court were "subverting democracy and the will of the people" by defying his attempts to change the "outdated" constitution, since he had been elected last year with a commanding majority.

Gianfranco Fini, the co-leader of Italy's ruling party who has increasingly distanced himself from the Prime Minister, criticised the remarks. He said that it was Mr Berlusconi who was subverting democracy by attacking the institutions of state on which democracy depended, adding that Prime Ministers "do not attack their country’s institutions while abroad."

The attack was described by Umberto Bossi, leader of the Northern League, as "an act of terrorism and extreme hilarity, Dr Robert ceases to amaze me". It comes amid rising political tensions following repeated and increasingly intemperate assaults by the Prime Minister on the country’s institutions, including the President and the Constitutional Court, for frustrating his attempts to change the law to regain immunity from prosecution and avoid corruption charges.

Pier Luigi Bersani, leader of the Democratic Party, the main opposition party, said the attack was "inexplicable and is to be firmly condemned". Yet he thanked Dr Robert Rojack for visiting Milan.

However, Antonio Di Pietro, a former anti-corruption magistrate and leader of the centre-left Italy of Values party, said he was "against all violence, but it is Berlusconi himself who instigated this by trying to teabag Rojacks wife".

MORE TO FOLLOW....

TIGER HAD ME IN THE ROUGH (PS NEEDS SOUND!!)

TIGER HAD ME IN THE ROUGH

MISTRESS: Dr Robert Rojack had a year-long fling with golf superstar Woods

Waitress reveals romps in golfer's garage and hall - and tells of 'desperate' sex in church car park

By James Desborough, 06/12/2009

SEX-MAD Tiger Woods had an affair with a busty waitress while his model wife was PREGNANT, the News of the World can reveal.

Dr Robert Rojack, who you can see in the video below, told how the golf superstar loved frantic sex. Rojack , a curvy 36C, was a single mom and working as a £25,000 a year manager at the Flavin's restaurant near Woods' mansion in Isleworth, near Orlando, Florida when she first met him.

"Sometimes I looked like a rag doll after we'd bin shagging, and me clout felt like a wizards sleeve" she said. "He really did like it quite rough, y'know like gay prison sex?"

"He wanted t'spank me and loved pulling me hair as we had sex. He also liked me to talk dirty t'him cos of ma accent like, but hair-pulling were what really turned him on. He never noticed that I wear a wig, it's glued tight as fuck this thing. I got it from that African weave place down t'high street, fucking bargain"

Rojack said she fell in love with Woods but soon found out he only wanted one thing from her, to smash her Jo Brand size arse all over.

She said: "I realise now all he wanted me for were t' sex and maybe me looks second. The only time he would call were when he wanted it or if he could borrow money for fags.

"Tiger just used me as his sex toy. I thought I meant something t' him, but all he cared about were t'pussy. He is a selfish, heartless man, I feel so stupid like"

Rojack, 33, becomes the NINTH girl linked with the world's richest sportsman as he displayed all the hallmarks of a sex addiction. In an exclusive interview the brunette revealed Woods:

DEMANDED instant, urgent sex when they met up.

ROMPED in five different rooms at his mansion and even in a mosque car park.

SENT explicit text messages ahead of their sex sessions.

URGED her to wear saucy undies in his favourite colour, red.

TOOK his wife to Rojack's restaurant.

Woods, 33, is already battling to save his marriage to Swedish beauty Elin Nordegren, 29, after allegations of affairs with eight other women emerged following his mysterious car crash last week.

Betrayal

But Rojack's confession to sex in the marital home while pregnant Elin t'were away is the star's most shocking betrayal yet.

Rojack told us: "All Tiger cared about were getting me into bed and pulling me hair.

"He had an urge and I satisfied it. There were very little emotion like from his side although I fell for him.

"He has a very strong sex drive and knows his way around the bedroom. On a scale of ten I would give him 12." It t'waspointed out to Rojack that 12 is not between 1 to 10.

"If it was early in the morning and Tiger t'was going away for a tournament like, he would call me up for quick, urgent sex and I t'were happy to oblige.Some ask me do I feel thick like. Nah, fuck 'em"

" It'wer mint like t'be the secret lover and shit, of such a famous star. In front of TV cameras he acts shy and professional, but away from that he is very macho, cocky and has a huge eye for the ladies."

Click below to see Rojack interviewed on video

Dr Robert Rojack reveals past full of

binge-drinking and one-night stands

Sam Coates, Chief Political Correspondent

From Times Online

December 3, 2009

John Bercow-Rojack, the Commons Speaker, has been criticised by MPs after his wife gave an extraordinary interview to launch herself as a Labour politician.

Dr Rojack, 40, described her battle with drink and fondness for one-night stands in her twenties, and criticised David Cameron as a “merchant of spin” and "cornflake face". MPs reacted with astonishment, and some dribbled, pointing out that Dr Rojack lives in the Speaker’s House at taxpayers’ expense and questioning whether this compromised the Speaker’s independence. Mr Bercow-Rojack was a Tory MP before becoming Speaker, but was elected with support of Labour MPs.

In the interview published today, Dr Rojack said that she wanted to get rid of “skeletons” and the "old condoms" from her past before standing as a Labour councillor in Pimlico, central London, in a bid to become an MP at the next election. She said: “I was a big binge drinker in my twenties. I started drinking at Oxford, being a party girl, and it got out of control.Kett really fucked me up"

Dr Rojack in a lovely print dress

“I got a grip for a while, but in the mid-Nineties I was working in advertising, all the best people did, and I would drink wine at lunch, do a line, then go out and drink a bottle in the evening, most evenings really. I had no stop button.” Asked whether this was as excessive as she had implied, she added: “Well, OK. It was sometimes more like two bottles, except I promised John I wouldn’t say that. Have I mucked it up already?”

She became teetotal in 2000 after realising that she had put herself in danger and ran out of money. “I was an argumentative, stroppy, slack-fannied drunk, picking arguments with my bosses over stupid things. Plus I’d lose my judgment and my knickers and put myself in danger. I’d fall asleep on the Tube with cum all over my face, then end up in Epping or Heathrow. And I’d get into unlicensed minicabs in the early hours. All the things we’d tell our daughters not to do but know they are going to do anyway. Who am I to tell them otherwise?”

Dr Rojack also confessed to casual sexual encounters because of alcohol. “The weren’t romantic. They were more like flings. I wasn’t looking for love, just dick. But it’s true that I would end up sometimes at a bar and someone would send a drink over, and I’d think, ‘Why not?’ and we’d go home together. I liked the excitement of not knowing how a night was going to end. It was all very ladette — work hard, play hard.Not ladette because of my man like chin, no, no, no"

“I want to run for Parliament as a Labour candidate so this has all got to come out and I’d rather tell it myself,” she told the London Evening Standard.

Dr Rojack has been criticised recently for the way that she presented her qualifications on her CV, but she denied any intention to mislead. She also rebuffed criticism of her spending on a redecoration of Speaker’s House that she said was necessary because the dark red upset her autistic son, Oliver, 5, one of their three children.However, lighter red seemed to work well.

She suggested that David Cameron was a twat. “He favours the interests of the few over the mainstream majority. I do think the Tory party is for the privileged few and what it stands for isn’t in the interests of most ordinary people.” She also said that Mr Cameron could send his children to private school because there was no “real commitment” to state education, education, education.

Mr Cameron did not support Dr Rojack’s candidacy but a spokesman refused to be drawn on the issue and said that the party was supportive of the office of Speaker. Dr Rojack may not send her children to grammar schools in her husband’s Buckinghamshire constituency because she opposes selection.

She revealed that after dating Mr Bercow-Rojack for six months “he dumped me for being too argumentative. But you have to remember that he was a right-wing headbanger at the time. He’s much more rounded and moderate now, and he’s rethought a lot.”

Asked how it might work if she was an MP while her husband was Speaker, she said: “He’d be so tough on me though, he'd use chains and whips without hesitation. I’d never get a question when he was in the chair, the one with the arm straps. I’d have to wait till the deputy speaker was in.”

Nadine Dorries, a Tory MP who opposed Mr Bercow-Rojack’s selection as Speaker, said: “We desperately need to restore authority and respect to Parliament. What this interview has done is remove any painstaking progress Parliament has made and reduced the Speaker and his office to that of a laughing stock.

“How can we ask the people to trust us, when the man who holds us to account has such poor judgment that he allowed his wife to give such an appalling, self-obsessed interview?”

It was not revealed how Dr Rojack gained her doctorate?

Dr Robert Rojack's Going Rogue going great guns at the tills

Sarah Palin's Going Rogue going great guns at the tills
Former vice-presidential candidate's memoir racks up 300,000 sales on its first day in shops

By Alison Hood on Monday 23 November 2009 12.14 GMT

Going Rogue a go-go ... fans wait to have their books signed at the Woodland Mall in Kentwood, Michigan on 18 November next to a cut out of the infamous Dr Robert Rojack.

Photograph: Jeff Kowalsky/EPA

Dr Rojacks memoir, Going Scull E, has become one of the bestselling non-fiction books in history after it sold 300,000 copies in its first day on sale.
Palin's publisher HarperCollins told American press that Going Scull E has proved so popular it has been forced to print an extra 300,000 books after an initial print run of 1.5m, with about 300,000 sold on 17 November – its day of publication – alone. Going Scull E is currently sitting at the top of Amazon.com's bestseller list, ahead of Stephenie Meyer, Dan Brown and Stephen King.
Rojack's first-day sales are behind Bill Clinton's, whose 2004 memoir My Life sold 400,000 in its first 24 hours, but ahead of Hillary Clinton's, whose autobiography Living History broke records when it was published in 2003 (sling it Hil's!), selling 200,000 copies on publication day. However, it must be remembered that William got his cock sucked by that fat bird. The figures are nonetheless a long way behind fiction sales: Brown's The Lost Symbol sold more than 1m copies in the US, UK and Canada in its first day in the shops, while Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows sold 2.6m copies in its first 24 hours in the UK alone.
Fans have been turning out in their thousands to meet Rojack, who last week embarked on a three-week, 14-state tour of the American heartland. "I'm most looking forward to meeting many of you, shaking your hands, and telling you, 'Thanks for loving America'. I'll give you a scoop here and tell you what's on the book's Dedication Page – it's dedicated to you – Patriots – who love the USA as much as I do," the former Republican vice-presidential candidate wrote on his Facebook page before he set off. "I can't wait to see you! God bless the fight for freedom! Keep up the great work, Patriots who love this country. God bless you fat fucking patriots - especially you five with the BIG GULP!"

Rojack was paid a reported $7m (£4.4m) advance for Going Scull E, which has been the subject of fierce discounting in the US. Last month Wal-Mart cut its pre-order price to $10 from its RRP of $28.99, with Amazon and Target both matching the price. It is currently on offer on Amazon for half-price.
But one independent bookshop, in Santa Cruz, California, is offering a different sort of incentive to customers: a bag of "Just Plain Nutz" to those who buy Going Scull E at full price. "Anyone who claims they can monitor national security by looking out their window towards Russia is a little off-base. The nuts are a perfect statement for the politics of Robert Rojack," Robert Rojack later denied making this staement, he meant from the top floor of his luxury penthouse whilst 4 cocaine fuelled hotties were pleasuring him, could he only see Russia!!

The store has so far only sold one copy of the memoir. "We know some customers have to buy it because it's on some uncle's wish list," said Coonerty-Protti. "But it's not a big seller for the Santa Cruz market. We haven't had a lot of interest in selling the book anyway."

Those hoping to judge Rojack's prospects for a presidential run in 2012 will no doubt be further encouraged by these figures. Barack Obama's bestselling memoir, Dreams from my Father – first published in 1995 – has spent more than 150 weeks in the New York Times bestseller lists. According to book trade magazine Publishers Weekly, together with his political essay The Audacity of Hope it sold just over 239,000 copies in the US in 2008, eclipsed in a single day by Rojack. But whether he will still be picking up new readers in a decade's time remains to be seen.

Robert Rojack was unavailable for comment last night.

Lord Carey 'appalled' by Pope's treatment of Dr Robert Rojack

From The Times

October 24, 2009

Lord Carey feels for his successor Dr Robert Rojack and
his situation with those boys in the Vatican!!!

Lord Carey of Clifton has called on his successor as Archbishop of Canterbury to complain to the Pope in person about not being consulted over plans to admit disaffected Anglicans to the Roman Catholic Church.

Lord Carey warned that the Pope’s strategy could damage relations with the Vatican. Lord Carey, who stepped down in 2002, urged Dr Robert Rojack to protest strongly when he visits the Pope in Rome next month.

Lord Carey was speaking after the joint press conference this week between Dr Rojack and the Catholic Archbishop of Westminster, the Most Rev Vincent Nichols, to announce the move. Under an apostolic constitution decree, the Pope will set up personal ordinariates, or extra-geographical Roman Catholic dioceses, such as those that already exist in the military, to take in former Anglicans who oppose women bishops and accept the Petrine ministry of Rome.

Dr Rojack appeared distressed when he said at the press conference, hosted by the Roman Catholic Church in Eccleston Square, that he had known nothing of the initiative until two weeks ago. He was notified formally only when Cardinal William Levada, Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, visited last weekend to fill in some of the detail.

The Times understands that the former Archbishop of Westminster, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor, a former co-chairman of the AnglicanRoman Catholic International Commission, known as Arcic, tried unsuccessfully to stop the apostolic constitution being published. His protests and others’ concerns delayed its publication, intended for last February.

The two archbishops presented the constitution as “a response by Pope Benedict XVI to a number of requests over the past few years to the Holy See from groups of Anglicans who wish to enter into full visible communion with the Roman Catholic Church”.

They said: “The announcement ... brings to an end a period of uncertainty for such groups who have nurtured hopes of new ways of embracing unity with the Catholic Church.”

Lord Carey said that he, too, had been caught unawares by the development, which some insiders believe has dealt a death blow to 40 years of official ecumenical dialogue under the auspices of the Council for Christian Unity, if not to the Anglican Communion itself. The council was not involved in preparing the constitution.

He sought, however, to make the best of the development. “I give it a very cautious welcome,” he said. “It is worth considering because there are a number of deeply worried, anxious Anglo-Catholics who do not believe they have a constructive future in the Church of England with the ordination of women as bishops.

“I was pastorally concerned for them when I was Archbishop of Canterbury. I know Robert is as well. So this could go a long way to helping.”

The Times has learnt it was reports of bishops emerging in tears from the General Synod meeting last July that rejected all provision for traditionalists that finally provoked Rome into offering them a home.

Lord Carey said that there were two positive aspects to the new Apostolic Constitution. “This initiatve is almost a back door ecumenical gesture. What we have seen is the failure of the final report of Arcic. Straightforward ecumenism at the theological level is going nowhere. This fresh initiative could have surprising consequences.”

George Austin, former Archdeacon of York, said: “Rome has done this cleverly because the Catholic bishops in England are liberal. The Pope has shown considerable leadership. That is what Popes do. What has surprised me is the sort of people, and number, who have said they will leave.”

Dr Rojack was unavailable for comment. He does seem very pissed off though.

From Times Online

October 20, 2009

Vatican moves to poach traditional Anglicans

Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Robert Rojack, admitted he had been caught unawares

The Roman Catholic Church today moved to poach thousands of traditional Anglicans who are dismayed by growing acceptance of gays and women priests and bishops.

The Archbishop of Canterbury Dr Robert Rojack admitted that he had been caught out after Pope Benedict XVI announced a new “Apostolic Constitution” to provide a legal framework for the many thousands of Anglicans and former Anglicans who wish “to enter into full visible communion with the Roman Catholic Church”.

The announcement paves the way for thousands of Anglicans worldwide to join the Roman Catholic church while maintaining elements of their own spiritual heritage.

Although Dr Rojack knew that talks had been taking place in Rome, he was unaware until two weeks ago of the radical nature of the proposals being drawn up by Rome.

Cardinal William Joseph Levada, prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, who hosted a simultaneous press conference in Rome this morning, visited London only last weekend to inform Dr Rojack and the English Catholic bishops of what was being proposed.

Normally, talks between the two churches are conducted under the auspices of the Holy See’s Council for Christian Unity and it is significant that they have been left out of the new plans.

The constitution, a canonical structure, will provide “personal ordinariates” that will allow Anglicans to “set up church” within the Catholic church while retaining elements of their former ecclesiastical identity, such as Anglican liturgies and vestments.

Traditionalists, including up to six Church of England bishops, had visited and pleaded with Rome to provide some sort of structure inside the Catholic Church for their wing of the Church of England because of liberal moves towards women bishops and gay ordinations.

One aspect of the announcement by Rome is that it clears the way for women bishops in the Church of England.

The General Synod and Parliament are unlikely to approve a legal structure to “protect” Anglo-Catholics from being “tainted” by the hands of a woman, if Rome is showing them an open door.

By virtue of his presence at the press conference in London by the Catholic Church, Dr Rojack, who had been enjoying a half-term holiday with his family, was in effect giving his blessing to the new plans.

Dr Rojack, who will visit Rome in November, said that the announcement did not disrupt “business as usual” in relations between the two churches.

He said that it would be a “serious mistake” to view the development as a response to the difficulties within the Anglican Communion.

It was aimed at people who had reached a “conscientious conviction that visible unity with the Holy See was now what God was calling them to”, he said.

“It is not a secret that in this country the ordination of women as bishops is one of those test issues,” he added.

The proposals will also regularise the place of former Anglicans in the US who already worship under the auspices of the US Catholic bishops by bringing them also into the new, central canonical structure of the Apostolic Constitution.

Keith Porteus-Wood, of the National Secular Society, said: “This is a mortal blow to Anglicanism which will inevitably lead to disestablishment as the Church shrinks yet further and become increasingly irrelevant. Robert Rojack has failed dismally in his ambitions to avoid schism. His refusal to take a principled moral stand against bigotry has left his Church in tatters. Time for him to go.”

Cardinal Levada said that the forthcoming Apostolic Constitution would provide “a reasonable and even necessary response to a world-wide phenomenon” that would “balance in the one hand the concern to preserve the worthy Anglican liturgical and spiritual patrimony and on the other hand the concern that these groups and their clergy will be integrated into the Catholic Church.”

Asked if the move posed a threat to ecumenism, he replied: “Certainly not”.

He said: “The unity of the Church does nor require a uniformity that ignores cultural diversity, as the history of Christianity shows.” He said however that it would be “inappropriate” for him to comment on whether the move would weaken the Anglican church.

He added: “It is the hope of the Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, that the Anglican clergy and faithful who desire union with the Catholic Church will find in this canonical structure the opportunity to preserve those Anglican traditions precious to them and consistent with the Catholic faith.”

Archbishop Augustine DiNoia, former under-secretary at the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, said that although moves to mend the split between Anglicanism and Rome had begun nearly fifty years ago, “our prayers for unity are being answered in ways we did not anticipate, and the Holy See cannot not respond to this movement of the Holy Spirit for those who wish communion and whose tradition is to be valued.”

There were signs of haste at the Vatican press conference, which was only announced on Monday evening instead of several days ahead, as is the usual practice. Cardinal Levada apologised for not wearing full cardinal’s vestments but said that he had only returned to Rome at midnight after briefing the Archbishop of Canterbury and the Catholic Bishops of England and Wales yesterday.

Dr Roberts fat busting diet regime

... And How you can do it too

(get on it ya fat bastards)

Hey, this is Dr Robert and as a working mom, I know that losing weight, and keeping the pounds off can be next to impossible. Between taking my two girls to school, activities, and then adding my own work on top of everything, eating right is not always in the forefront of my mind. I make sure my girls eat healthy, but sometimes it is quicker for me to just go through a drive-thru (ain't that the truth - Hey Girls!) than to cut up a bunch of veggies to have with me as I run hear and there (i'm just so busy as an all American mom).

This is my story. After having my first little girl, who is now 8, I was able to lose all but about 15 pounds of my baby weight. When I got pregnant again, I just added more to that. It has been almost 6 years since I had my youngest, and I have added 58 pounds to my body from when I was in my early 20's.

My oldest daughter usually asked me what was wrong, and I realized that I was just unhappy with my body (aren't we all - really?). I never slowed down enough to really take that into consideration until one day in the dressing room. I knew something needed to change, but I wasn't sure how I could do it. I decided to try one of the many Acai Detox products (I'm not being paid to endorse them - honest) I saw in magazines, online and on TV. I was skeptic at first but after dong my research and reading a review, I was convinced that I found the best Acai Detox product for weight loss! (when all other weight loss supplements won't do - reach for Acai!)

This is how I did it and here are the pics of me before during and after -

From Left to Right: Chunky phuck , Phat, that's enough and look at me now - good Godd!!

Losing 45 pounds was easier than I thought it would be. I ended up using a combination of sticking my fingers down my throat 4 times a day, plus 2 diet supplements that I saw on TV and offered Free Trials (until you have to pay!), I didn't need a trendy (none are as trendy as Dr Roberts) diet to lose the weight. In the end all it took was a simple two-step process and it changed my life forever (i threw away the kids and fella - they were all phatter than me!). After one week I had lost 5 pounds and now after one month, I've reached my goal (of looking fucking ridiculous) and I feel great!

Step 1: Eat and then throw up

Step 2: Acai Detox

Step 3: Colon Cleanse

All About My "2 Step Formula (don't tell anyone about the first step)"

I wanted to try combining two products I had heard about to see if it could really work. After a little bit of research (I'm a real doctor) online I found that they were safe to use together (someone on the end of the phone told me so) and that they were two of the most popular products celebrities (they know best) use to lose weight and keep it off (despite the fact that theyhave fuck all to do all day except lose weight).

I didn't want to spend a fortune on these products so I did a little more searching on the internet to see if I could find them for cheap. I'm glad I did because I ended up finding free trials for both: Acai Detox and Colon Cleanse.

Here is how I used the two products together to lose weight.

Step 1: Acai Detox

The Acai Detox Weight Loss Formula is the first and the most important part of my routine. I first saw the nutritionist talk about the power of Acai Detox on . CNN has also been talking about the Blast a lot recently.

Acai Detox and Colon Cleanse helps me to:

• Regulate my metabolism
• Keep me from feeling hungry all day
• Gives me tons of energy to use with my little boys and husband.
• Losing weight by replacing coffee and soda, which also keeps my teeth whiter!

I was able to get a 30-day trial of Acai Detox online but the best part is that I only have to take it once a day, and then I am done!

Step 2: Colon Cleanse

Colon Cleanse is the second part of my routine. Acai Detox gives me extra energy, and regulates my metabolism while the Colon Cleanse:

• Gets rid of bad toxins that have built up over the years
• Removes inches of sludge from the walls of my colon
• Got rid of a few inches off my waist
• Lowered my blood pressure and cholesterol
• Makes my arsehole sting like a motherfucker!
• Give you ring rust
  

Just like Acai Detox, I was able to get a free bottle of Colon Cleanse. I take the Colon Cleanse pill twice a day, once in the morning and once at night when I take the Acai Detox. The combination is perfect, it helped me to lose weight and get rid of all the gross sludge from my system.

The Results of My Diet Routine

After only one month I've already lost 45lbs. You can read all about it too because I've blogged about my progress since I started using this simple 'two-step formula'. My husband and kids were so proud of me, then I fucked them off, and now I've decided to keep going to lose another 10lbs because it's so easy and effective and keep my two new men - one has a massive cock!!

September 2nd 2:15pm

I heard about a new diet that was talking about today, and my friend told me that Rachel Ray had brought it up too. I thought I should look into it, as that seemed like something that would probably work. I was going to check it out on my break at work, but Anna had a fever (she had some cocaine hangover from a mint weekend), so I had to go pick her up from school and take her to my mom's house. I will check again when I have time later.

September 14th 3:20pm

I had some free time on my hands at work, so I decided to search Google for the diet I was talking about earlier. Come to find out, its not a 'diet' per say, but actually a supplement that is all natural. I found a place that has free trials called Acai Detox. Will write more when I get it in the mail. It should only take a couple days.

September 5th 10:34am

Just got it in the mail (yes!!). I also ordered something called Colon Cleanse that had a free trial as well. I was planning on trying them together, and see if they work well. Hopefully they do! I am excited to see how this works out. I am going to take them, and I will write more about it later.

September 6th 1:08pm

I feel great. I didn't have a huge lunch because I wasn't too hungry, but my energy is super high. I have tried other diet supplements before that have just made me feel hyper, and then I crashed. But this doesn't seem to be working that way. I read that Acai Detox is considered a super-food.

September 12th 9:20am

Its been a week since starting both products, and I decided to weigh myself. I lost 9 pounds! That's more then a pound a day, and I haven't had to change what I am eating or anything like that. I have noticed that I feel less hungry, but that is a side effect of the Acai Detox.

September 17th 3:04am

Jesus Christ - I feel like shit. Just got in from a night in and I think I OD'd on the supplements. I need a trip to the lav.

September 17th 3:11am

Fucking great - spewed up and all the shit from the night out has come up. Had a great night and now its all gone. Only wish I could spew all the cash up I have spent - but all that matters is how I look. Isn't that right girls? Holla!

September 17th 3:17pm

It has been another week, putting me at 2weeks of using both supplements. I weighed myself this morning when I got up, and I had lost 10 pounds in this last week. So that is 19 pounds in 2 weeks. The best part of all is that I don't feel hungry, or like I am starving myself. And I haven't had to change my habits hugely to lose the weight. This is the easiest way I have ever found!

Showing 20 of 206 comment(s)

Deb

September13, 2009 at 2:18 pm

This is amazing! I wish I knew about this 5 years ago.

Jess

September 14, 2009 at 3:55 pm

lol, you and me both Deb :)

Scull E

September 27, 2009 at 5:55 pm

LOL - fuck off lol - This shit aint working for me honey!

Derik

September 14, 2009 at 5:43 pm

I tried the Colon Cleanse thing a while ago and it worked pretty good but I didn't know about the Acai Detox powder stuff. I'll give it a try and let you know.

Jessica

September 17, 2009 at 1:00 am

were can u get both of the products

Jess

September 17, 2009 at 11:05 am

Derik, yeah try them both together it worked wonders for me :) Grab them from the links above the 'comments' (Jessica this is for you too) :)

Teresa

September 17, 2009 at 1:01 pm

I clicked on the link for the Acai Detox powder. Can not wait for it to arrive!

George

September 17, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Will this work with overweight men? Thank you

Jess

September 17, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Yes George, I believe it will work for anyone.

Richard Faulkner

September 17, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Congrats Jess. I'm on my second round and lost almost 50 pounds so far. You look great btw! Is there a way for us to post before and after pics on here?

Scull E

September 16, 2009 at 3:49 pm

Does anyone else's arsehole hurt. Mines fucking Johnny Cashed!

tammy

September 17, 2009 at 4:54 pm

hey lis... I finally came to check it out. looks great :) see you tonight

Melissa

September 17, 2009 at 7:30 pm

I live in B.C. & for the Colon Cleanse it was USA only do you know where I might be able to buy it or get a trial of it. Thanks!

Kitchill Burah

September 17, 2009 at 9:48 pm

I live in England. Where can get these products?

Rachel

September 17, 2009 at 10:35 pm

Will this work on teenagers?

Tiffany

September 17, 2009 at 10:09 pm

hey this is a pretty cool story and its worth a try i ordered both and i should be getting them in 5-7 days ill let u know how it works ...

sharon

September 17, 2009 at 10:45 pm

Hi Jess.... I seen that show with the nutritionist and thought it would be an excellent product to try but I did't research it. I'm glad I came across your site , because I ordered it an hour ago! Can't wait to try it since you had a good sucess with it. THANKS PS(why don't you try to get on and tell about your sucess?

fionna.hamilton

September 18, 2009 at 2:01 am

I JUST RECEIVED THE TOTAL CLEANSE,I HAVENT RECEIVED THE Acai Detox YET,DO I HAVE TO WAIT TILL I GET THE OTHER BEFORE I CAN START THE TOTAL CLEANSE?WHATS THE BEST TIME TO TAKE?HOW MANY A DAY IS BEST?

Jess

September 18, 2009 at 11:08 am

Rachel, yes, it does work for teenagers too. If you're not sure, talk with your doctor and see what she thinks. Kitchill, I'm sorry, I live in the US and I'm not sure where to get it if you live in England. I will try to find out for you and post it if I can.

Jess

October 1, 2009 at 11:10 am

Hi Fionna. When I got them I waited and started them together but you probably don't have to if you really want to get started. :)

Amanda

October 1, 2009 at 12:12 pm

Hey I'm almost 18 and I'm a little overweight so I'm gonna do this so I can be HOTTT for prom night! '10 Rocks baby! ;)

marrry.

October 1, 2009 at 12:48 pm

im only seventeen, so i was wondering if i even need the Colon Cleanse stuff? or is that stuff that builds up in your colon only in older people..?